As I reach middle age, what’s the one thing I reflect on the most?
 If I could go back to 30, what would I most want to tell my younger self?

Now that I’ve lived to this age, I understand more and more — there are some things that, once spoken, bring no benefit at all. In fact, they only invite trouble and drag your energy down.

First, stop having complaints always on your lips.
 When you're young, sometimes when things don't go your way, you just want to vent to someone. The client is difficult, work is unlucky, something’s going on at home, a colleague did this and that... But does saying it out loud really help?

It actually puts you in a very low-energy state. There are far too many things in this world that won’t go your way. Complaining is never a constructive way to handle it. You complain about life, about work, about friends, about your partner—yet the one who ends up worried and unhappy is still you. It's not because the world isn’t beautiful that you complain. It’s the other way around—because you complain all the time, the beautiful things of this world drift away from you. If complaining worked, no one would need to work hard. Later, I came to understand: whether life is good or not, complaining is useless. The only thing you can change is yourself.

Second, don’t reveal the secrets in your heart so easily.
 When you're young, you feel like once you've found a “good friend” or “bestie,” you can say anything. But don’t impulsively lay all your cards on the table. Even the best friend or closest confidante—keep some boundaries. The human heart sometimes just can’t withstand temptation. When there’s no conflict of interest, everyone is a friend. When there is conflict, people become opponents. Sometimes, the person who hurts you the most isn't your enemy— It's someone you see every day, someone you thought you could trust. So, some things are better left unsaid. Keeping them to yourself brings more peace of mind.

Third, don’t casually talk about how much money you have.
 Honestly, a lot of people like to show off—especially when they’re young. Make a bit of money and suddenly feel the urge to let the whole world know—how much savings you have, what you bought... But really—money is your bottom card. Once it’s spoken, it gives others a chance to take advantage. Same goes for your family’s financial situation—that’s your bottom line. No matter how much money is saved at home, once said aloud, it’s showing off wealth. It invites others to take notice, to see you as their emergency fund, or worse—it might bring disaster. Say too little, and people look down on you. Say too much, and people envy you.
 When I was young, I thought having extra cash meant I could brag a little to my friends.
 When I got older, I realized—no matter if your family has money or not, keep your mouth shut. Bottom cards that shouldn’t be revealed—don’t reveal them.

Fourth, don’t keep negative energy on your lips.
 This last one is really important. Never let negative words hang around your mouth every day. “Words become flesh”—everything you say carries energy. It impacts you. The more you speak negatively, the more it harms you. What you say, is what you become. What you give out, is what you get back. If you want life to flow more smoothly, if you want to earn more money, then speak more positivity and energy into your life.

Looking back now, I’m more certain than ever of this truth: To know how capable someone is, just listen to what they say. People who speak well, aren’t just sweet talkers—they have boundaries, keep their cards close, guard their hearts, and uphold their vision.

If I had the chance, I’d truly want to tell my younger self across time and space:
Don’t rush to complain. Don’t share your secrets lightly. Don’t show off your wealth. Don’t speak negativity. Save that time and energy. Focus on doing things right. Doing the right thing is more important than saying the right words.

Let’s encourage each other— This is written for every one of us still on the journey.

( Translated from the original Chinese text )

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